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1. |
The Party
02:04
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Abandon all hope, those who enter the lions' den
It's ready to drive, all you need is a pen
Sign across the dotted lines, adventure back from the pines
And I swear that I'll live in the party
As we pass the stop signs and warning lights
The orange is refracted across the windshield tonight
In the cold of the moon, as the icicles are in bloom
It's clear I'll never win this fight
We open the door as the satellites crash into the ground, they're gone in a flash
As the world is spinning and the TV is flickering
I swear I'll never enjoy the party
I promise that you're thinking of somebody else
When you tap me on the shoulder and beg me to help
"You shouldn't ask me for favors, 'cause I'm not your savior"
Laments to the blissfully deaf
Now she's vomiting on the bathroom floor
In between cries for "something more"
The blood and the sweat mix with morning regret
And I swear I won't return to the party
But I take in too much as I criticize the dream
And listen to you question who I used to be
You can barely see anything through the layers of apathy
And I swear I won't return from The Party.
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2. |
Ambulance
03:57
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A faith in love, a match in the centerpiece of my living room, while I beg for acceptance from the flames, as the smoke sends me into a daze
The empty knocks on the wall, the cracks along the surface of reality, where everything is never as it seems
So
Take my sense, and throw me down in the deepest caves of paranoia and fear of everything that's left unknown
I might not make it back home tonight
The faces in the dark can see into my lying eyes
But I'm not so sure, not so sure anymore
That the ambulance will come and save me from my words
The mirror never lies when there's someone standing behind you all the time, waiting for you to turn your back and close your eyes
I'm struggling to fight off sleep as my fear will hide like wolves among the sheep, but through the sinking ship, my head is playing games with me
So
Take my head, and let me drown in the deepest seas of paranoia and fear of everything that's left unknown
So I can't open my mouth, I can't make a sound
'cause everything just manifests from the inside
(Just as dogs go barking in the alleyway
It's hard for me to get mad at all the things they say
'cause this is a bed that I made
And I can't sleep in it or try to escape)
I might not make it back home tonight
The faces in the dark can see into my lying eyes
'cause I'm not so sure, not so sure anymore
That the ambulance will come and save me from my words.
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3. |
Hole
03:54
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I trusted songs sung by liars lungs in an attempt to wrap me in love
Maybe the problem was never the crowd, but instead was divine intervention from above
I thought that waking up would bring a brand new day, but it seems I fell asleep a year too late
As you take my hand and leave me at the gate, a kiss from a familiar face
The grapevines on my fence outside are brown with faded twigs
Blocking off the backyard from the street, making distant connections with the alley
Where we ran as kids above cracking leaves, before the dream was dead in its frozen sleep
I didn't wanna be that hole in your head, when you dream about what used to be, asleep in your bed
Now the smoke is all around you, and in the orange glow lays the fires of the friendships I thought would shift and mold
In the house of the free, in the palm of your hand lays the only common concept you'll never understand
In the dead of the night, in the heat from the war of drained captains running home in defeat
A cold night in a dim-lit room helps to curb your interest in the things that you do
Under stars of the ignored and ceilings of sweat sits the ghost of the moment that you'll always forget
As you take a pull and you swim in the brine of every empty decision and every faked line
But off to the side on the wall, there's a sign
A warning of our lost time
Do you wonder how it felt to be the deer in the headlights along the frozen highway past Mile 99?
Family forgotten in the flash of the instant where metal hit skin and went skidding on the floor
Go to sleep with your loved ones, your dead-end prayers, your incoherent words left blissfully unaware
Sleep in the flames of your burning regret and stab me in the heart with your sharpened bayonet
When they laid your body down to rest, all I felt was bitter disappointment that I never said anything, what everything meant
The deepest regret, that you could've helped me fix this problem, but instead:
On the tombstone marked the anniversary where everything fell apart
And moving into this hole I should've known from the start.
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4. |
Twenty
03:42
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Pine for days of ballroom halls, where afterwards you'd go and spread your life out in the car, and crash before you hit the bar
You lack the motivation to chase a spark that ignites the flame in your heart
A replacement to keep you warm in the dead of the coldest winter
Perpetually stuck at seventeen, while you make your home in a ditch at twenty
So you live for the nights that you won't remember, just like you did this past December
It took a few hours just to realize we have nothing in common after years of getting this right
Until your spirit dies with the nights you won't get back inside
Sing your songs of dead remorse, while you send your videos into dead air and wait for the alcohol to run it's beaten course
Around the racetracks inside your brain, processed by memories, it's all the same
If you think about the "good old days," has anything really changed?
Forever chasing the teenage dream, this lack of responsibility
In anything that you could ever say or try to mean
So click your heels and wish for home, and pen your words into your phone
'cause you can break all your rules or spend the night all alone
You shouldn't miss the nights like these where you're smiling all the way to The Party
And close the door of the hotel room between the dunes
(I swore you'd never change when I left for The Coast
Although you'd think a year later would have some news to report
And I thought that I'd miss you when you were silent for months
Until conveniently you came around when everything was looking up
I planned simple phrases out around in my head
Until I realized that everything was better unsaid
Now there's nothing I can do for you and nothing to say
The price to pay.)
((I don't know you
And I don't want to))
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5. |
Ambition
04:32
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You're falling asleep on your best friend's couch
In the house where the wildlife tries to get out
The conversation continues downstairs
As you're tied up and beaten in this desolate chair
Take me back to where the night all began
Smiling faces and smoke beneath the ceiling fan
Different cells, we're spending time by ourselves
As she joins me on the deck, and she says,
"Do you ever go out at night and stare at the stars
And wonder why you're not passed out in the back seat of your car?
Cause even when you're so far from home, you're never alone,
But once everyone's gone, you'll fail to move on."
All faith is lost as we cross the threshold to the living room
Nervous and afraid, unable to sleep for days
Because the fires in my head make a path to the bed
Where she takes my hand and pushes me away
We stumble out through the door to the dirt outside
You could watch the light bounce off the windows as she cries,
"When are you gonna learn that all that you have tried to grow and build wasn't what you meant when you wanted to be fulfilled?"
"Do you ever go out at night and stare at the stars
And wonder why you're not passed out in the back seat of your car?
Cause even when you're so far from home, you're never alone,
But once everyone's gone, you'll fail to move on."
(I make my way inside this house of debauchery and sin
As the holiest one here tears the threading in his skin
They sit on the back porch, their silhouettes form into one
The faint hum of music repeating inside the sun)
She's sleeping in the guest room down the hall
Wiping her memory of a digital love
Done with a chemical art, feigned from the start
I'll never find the answers needed by my selfish heart
"Do you ever go out at night and stare at the stars
And wonder why you're not passed out in the back seat of your car?
Cause even when you're so far from home, you're never alone,
But once everyone's gone, you'll fail to move on."
"You're falling asleep on your best friend's couch
Just like you did when you were trying to get out
What you lack in ambition you make up in things that never came true,
And all of this is why I could never love you."
(I swore I'd never leave when we climbed into the pit
Of dismal intentions and crimes to commit
Now the blankets wrap around you and kiss you goodnight
Like you said from the beginning, "you'll never win this fight")
(Take me back before the night
Lead me shivering towards the light
Loneliness pushes in the pins
In this shell that I'm living in)
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6. |
Pure
04:56
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I'll say almost anything to prove I'm not a mistake, that we can still make the most of our time, while my friends are in the laundry room going over their lines for their deceiving play on words, that they feed to the birds, that they lock in their cage
I know that the sun is rising over the hill, but in the morning will you be there still?
Bloodshot eyes and memories of ruined nights and wistful dreams
But who will I be when I wake up from this disease?
'cause you are the virus that's been pumping into the heart of me
My towers of collapsed dreams, and makeshift hope, and perfect symphonies
Cracking the sky with tendrils from their knowing eyes
Boxspring prayers to deafened gods who turn the TV volume up
All the while the jackals run their mouths, cackles lost in the sound
Tectonic plates of paper plans all jumbled up by cracking hands
They seem to speak the truth, that I will ruin you
Bloodshot eyes and memories of ruined nights and wistful dreams
But who will I be when I wake up from this disease?
'cause you are the virus that's been pumping through my cells
With your antidotes and secrets that you're dying to sell
Your mascara is smudged as you start pacing the room
Along the avenues of romance in the AM gloom
As the lights in the hall stay true
(We'll love until the crosses form
Along the walls of bedframes' view
We'll love until the air is pure)
My tongue contorts in distant metaphors
And we're sitting on the courtroom steps
I always wanted to adore
The security in the second guess
And the leaves start their descent from the branches above
Where I find out what it means to never be loved
Struggle to find meaning in the warmest of fires
In search of the purest feeling
Bloodshot eyes and memories of ruined nights and wistful dreams
But who will I be when I wake up from this disease?
'cause you are the virus that's been pumping through my cells
With your antidotes and secrets that you're dying to sell
As she lays down in bed, she moves to stare at her phone
In the twilight of the churches that're overgrown
With vines of distant flowers that confirm that we're alone
I'll say almost anything to prove I'm not a mistake, that we can still make the most of our time, before the sun starts to rise
I'll change convictions to give a certain allure, ignore that what we had should have stayed pure.
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The Hobby Bellingham, Washington
Screaming into mics since 2012.
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